


An Erudite Young Man

by Shipsorsanity



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Autistic Angus McDonald, Canon Compliant, Coming Out, Families of Choice, Fluff, Implied Transphobia, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Trans Angus McDonald, Trans Male Character, because I say so, but Angus has a new dad now, listen Angus' parents suuuuucked, past emotional abuse, takes place between eleventh hour and the suffering game
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-13
Updated: 2020-03-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:29:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23132464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shipsorsanity/pseuds/Shipsorsanity
Summary: Angus loved detective stories and he learned how to take in information like a detective. He was observant, so when things disappeared at school, he could usually find it within the hour.But Angus could never practice his detective work outside of school. Detectives got their clothes dirty. They listened to other people's conversations. They went places without telling their parents. They regularly associated with people below their social class.After much consideration, Angus knew what he had to do to be himself.Angus disappeared when he was eight years old.(Title comes from The Adventure Zone: Live in Austin!)
Relationships: Angus McDonald & Taako
Comments: 21
Kudos: 225





	An Erudite Young Man

**Author's Note:**

> [Disclaimer and notes at the end]

Angus knew how to suffer in silence; it was how he was able to escape his parents so easily. He knew they wouldn't like it if he told them he wanted to do detective work, so he didn't tell them what he did when he was at the library. They wouldn't like his opinions of, well, anything, so he didn't voice them. Lies by omission were an essential part of his childhood.

Angus followed every rule that was set out for him. He was the perfectly obedient child his parents wanted. He always told them where he was going and was back by the time they told him to be home. He didn't get his clothes dirty when he played outside. Angus was a quiet child who preferred reading, anyway, he told himself.

Angus loved detective stories and he learned how to take in information like a detective. He was observant, so when things disappeared at school, he could usually find it within the hour.

But Angus could never practice his detective work outside of school. Detectives got their clothes dirty. They listened to other people's conversations. They went places without telling their parents. They regularly associated with people below their social class.

Angus could never be a detective. Instead, he would read his stories and stay inside like a good little child.

It was exhausting.

Because he was a perfect child, his parents expected nothing but perfection from him. Angus dreaded making mistakes. His parents didn't hit him when he messed up, gods no. They'd probably go to jail if they did. Instead, they scolded him. Their voices became stern and lowered to a pitch that installed dread deep inside Angus. He would often dissociate—a term he was thrilled to learn existed—whenever he messed up. The guilt and fear was worse than any physical punishment his parents could do to him.

After much consideration, Angus knew what he had to do to be himself.

Angus disappeared when he was eight years old.

His seemingly blind obedience made it seem more likely that he had been kidnapped or killed. Angus used the money he got from Candlenights or his birthdays to buy a copy of whatever he would miss most from his house, mainly his favorite books. It would appear as if he took nothing with him, which would imply that he didn't go willingly.

Angus had been planning his disappearance for months. He had a ticket he bought weeks before for a train that left when the workers would be too tired to notice that there was a child on his own. On the train, Angus took only some scissors and a new outfit. His hair had been grown almost to his shoulders. Though he much preferred it up and out of his face, he had tolerated the long hair and distracting haircut so his missing posters wouldn't look so much like him once he left.

Angus had left that train with a more comfortable appearance, freedom, and a new name. He started his detective business, which took off once the adults finally started listening to him.

He'd been on his own for two years before meeting the reclaimers. In those two years, he saw less and less of his missing posters being put up, until finally, there weren't any. His parents must have finally considered finding him a lost cause. To be fair, he was surprised it took that long. He'd thought that they'd give up earlier due to the printing costs alone.

Angus loved his new job on the moon. Though many adults were patronizing at first, there were more that respected his intelligence right away. It was refreshing. There was still a barrier between him and the adults due to his age, but it was easier than being on the surface. Perhaps that was why he tended to gravitate towards the reclaimers. They didn't seem to treat him different than anyone else. They would tease him like they did to each other.

Angus often had trouble telling when Taako, Magnus, and Merle were messing with him. Well, they were always messing with him. But it was hard for him to tell if they meant what they said.

They didn't hate him, that much Angus knew. They might groan when they see him, but that's just one of their goofs. Besides, they often played similar goofs on each other, and they were friends. Their teasing wasn't malicious, but there was always one recurring goof that bothered him to his core.

Whenever Angus questioned if the reclaimers hated him, he remembered his magic lessons. Taako had paid enough attention to Angus' interests to know he was starting to study magic. He also cared enough to teach Angus without prompting. He also sometimes let down his walls around Angus, telling him about Sizzle It Up and why he had difficulty cooking sometimes.

Angus decided that Taako would be the first to know what bothered him.

First, he needed to catch Taako in a very good mood. It was hard to do normally, but with Madam Director's new training schedule, it was even harder, though it wasn't impossible. Angus noticed that sometimes Taako left the moon and came back late at night. His good mood would last through the next day. Angus just needed to catch him the day after.

Second, he needed to find time to talk to Taako. Free time wasn't really a thing for the reclaimers anymore. The only time Angus could talk to him was during magic lessons, and Angus didn't want to request something of Taako when he was already doing him a favor. Though he loved learning, especially from Taako, he would consider taking a day off of magic lessons. Perhaps that would also raise his teacher's mood.

Angus had a plan in place. All he had to do was wait for the right opportunity.

That opportunity came sooner than Angus expected.

Taako had had a positive attitude throughout training—something that never happened. The Director must have taken notice and let them go earlier than usual. Taako asked Angus if he wanted a magic lesson even though one wasn't scheduled. Angus accepted, of course. He loved learning. Then he put together that that night was the perfect opportunity. He may have been unprepared, but if there's anything Magnus wanted to teach him, it was that sometimes it's best to rush in to situations that scare you.

When Angus arrived to the reclaimers' shared apartment, Taako was organizing his spell components on his bed, which Angus was certain he'd never done before.

"Don't mind me, kiddo," Taako said, not looking up, "It'll only take a minute, then we can do some learning. Speaking of, what spell do you want to focus on today?"

Angus bit his lip. It was now or never. "Actually, sir, I was hoping I could talk to you about something else."

"Sure, what's eating you, Agnes?"

Angus cringed and started rubbing his fingers, a habit he did when he was nervous. "That's actually what I wanted to talk about," he said. It came out quieter than he meant, barely a whisper.

Taako put down the pouch he was holding and looked up at Angus. "Yeah?" Taako said.

Angus took a deep breath. "I—could you please not call me that?" He asked. "Agnes," he spat, as though that name were poison in his mouth. Taako stayed quiet, so Angus filled the silence by elaborating. "My parents used to call me that."

"Oh," Taako said. Angus could almost hear the gears turning in his brain. He knew what Taako was thinking.

Agnes is a feminine name.

Angus' parents were very traditional and strict.

They would never give their son a 'girl's name.'

" _Oh._ "

Angus closed his eyes, feeling his stomach drop and his breath quicken. He stopped rubbing his fingers and instead, he dug his fingernails into his palms. He felt like the temperature of the room dropped twenty degrees. He didn't know how Taako was taking this information. He didn't _want_ to know. He started rapidly twisting his balled fists, trying to ground himself.

 _Oh gods_ , Angus suddenly thought, _what if Taako tells everyone I'm a girl._

"Hey, hey," Taako said softly. Angus flinched at a weight on his shoulder, then realized that it was just Taako's hand, and it was only resting there. "It's okay," Taako murmured. "Look at me, kiddo."

Angus opened his eyes. Taako was looking at him. He looked concerned, not outraged. The two of them just watched each other, not really knowing what to do or say. Neither of them were great with emotions.

"You want a hug?" Taako finally asked, lifting his hands up. Angus didn't answer; instead, he practically jumped into Taako's arms. Angus was sobbing at this point, grateful that the person he cared most about wasn't pushing him away for once, but holding him. Taako rocked gently, rubbing gentle circles into Angus' back.

When Angus caught his breath, which took a long time, he leaned back and Taako let go of him. Angus wiped the tears off his face and took a deep breath.

"So," Taako said, "just so I have everything right, I'm only a simple idiot wizard after all," Angus laughed at that, "You're trans," Taako said. "Your parents sucked, thought you were a girl named Agnes, and you ran away to be our boy detective Angus."

"Yeah," Angus said, nodding. "Are you—are you okay with that?" He asked.

"It doesn't matter what I think," Taako said, "But Hell yeah I am! I'd be a hypocrite if I wasn't." Angus sighed with relief. "'Cha boy's got plenty of first hand experience running away to be yourself."

"You do?" Angus asked, surprised.

"Not exactly the same, but I've been put with relatives that didn't like the fact that I liked guys and not-"

"You're gay?" Angus blurted out.

"You couldn't tell?" Taako asked, eyebrows raised and a hand on his chest in an attempt to look offended. His smile ruined the illusion. "Yeah, I am, my dude." Angus felt warmth surge inside him and he buried his face in Taako's chest. Taako cradled the back of Angus' head with one hand. "You good, kiddo?" he asked.

Angus nodded. "Thank you sir," he mumbled into Taako's chest. He pulled his head back and frowned when he saw the wet stains he left on Taako's shirt.

"What's wrong, bubbeleh?" Taako asked, concerned.

"I ruined your shirt," Angus said, pointing to his chest. "I'm sorry."

"Oh, that it?" Taako said. He waved a hand and prestidigitated the mess away. "Don't you worry, boychik. I've got magic."

Angus laughed. "I forgot, sir," he admitted.

"You good, Ango? That all you wanted to tell me?" Taako asked. Angus nodded. "Alright then, let's get up and bake something. That always makes me feel better." Taako led Angus to the kitchen.

"What are we making, sir?" Angus asked.

Taako hummed. "Some chocolate chip cookies sound pretty good right now, don't you think?" He asked. Angus nodded.

Taako didn't touch any of the ingredients, but he did show Angus how to properly cream, mix, and fold the cookie dough. Angus made a mess when he stirred the flour too fast and his face was covered in the white powder. Taako laughed and Angus joyfully joined in. They cleaned up their mess as the cookies baked.

"Do you want me to tell Mags and Merle about your deadname?" Taako asked Angus as they dipped their freshly-warm cookies in milk.

"I don't know," Angus said truthfully. He really wanted them to stop calling him by his deadname, even if it is just a joke, but he didn't want to let them know he's trans yet. He doubted they'd make fun of him for it, but Angus just wasn't ready to come out yet.

"How about this," Taako suggested. "Next chance I get, I let them know it's not funny to call you that name and if they do, then they'll answer to my rad umbrella. I don't tell them any specifics, but I let them know, hey, I'm serious about this."

Angus got out from his chair to wrap his arms around Taako. "That's perfect, thank you," he said, his glasses starting to fog up.

Taako ruffled Angus' hair. "Well, I can't have my magic boy being all upset now, can I?"

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I am not trans.
> 
> Or I might be? I'm not really sure. I'm questioning my gender identity and have been for a while, but I'm not really in a position where I can express myself anyway, so I'm keeping all that locked down until I get out of my parents' house. It's not healthy, but neither is my living situation.
> 
> When I was in my early teens, I started questioning my gender, and I remember feeling that I might actually be a boy. (I even had a name picked out.) I was conflicted, and a lot of Angus' feelings here are based on my own experience as a kid, wondering what would happen if I came out and daydreaming about running away.
> 
> A few weeks before I published this, I sent it to my transmasc nonbinary friend to look it over, and got positive feedback. Their response encouraged me to finally publish this fic.
> 
> The point of all of this is to say that I might be portraying Angus' experience as a trans boy incorrectly, as I don't identify the same as him. If I did something wrong, please let me know and I'll fix it.
> 
> (and if you're curious, I'm comfortable with whatever pronouns you want to throw out at me. She/her, they/them, he/him. Pretty sure I'm genderfluid.)
> 
> Thanks for reading <3


End file.
